Long Gone
by Soliloquium
Summary: After the Winter War, the people of Soul Society try to recover from their losses, despite their victory. However, an originally defeated enemy suddenly turns up in the human world. OOCness. CHARACTER RESSURECTION AND DEATH. I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

Disclamer: I don't own Bleach. Ulquiorra is god after Okita Sougo. OOCness and fabrication throughout the story, as well as several scenes that don't make sense. Terminology shall be explained in the A/N. Enjoy...

Chapter 1

"Yukira-chan, Hisana nee-san, come look here!" a three-year old, violet-eyed girl in a tattered kimono sat on the bank of a river, shouting to a slightly older, pale boy and her older sister. The boy, sporting vivid green eyes, walked over to the bank when the little girl's sister shooed the boy out of the small cave. The boy sighed and crouch down on the bank.

"What is it, Rukia?" he said in an slightly annoyed tone.

"Geez, Yuki, you're no fun at all," Rukia said. "Look!" Yukira looked into the the clear river, to where Rukia had pointed.

"Fish? Here?" he said, shocked.

"Yeah! Now we can eat!" Rukia said excitedly.

"Thanks, Rukia. HISANA-SAN!" Yukira yelled as loudly as he can to the cave. "Rukia found food! Never mind, I'll catch it." He pulled up the sleeves of his kimono and prepared to grab the fish in the water.

"Be careful, Yuki," Rukia said to the boy.

"I'll be fi-" Yukira, who was crouching on the very tip of the bank, suddenly fell forward and into the quick river, and began to travel down the river with his head barely above the water.

"Yuki!" Rukia cried in alarm.

"I'm fine!" Yukira shouted. "All I need to do is-" He was cut off when his head met rock, his expression that of shock. Yukira was knocked out, with a thin stream of crimson flowing from his head as his head began to submerge into the water.

"Nee-san! NEE-SAN! YUKI!" Rukia shouted as loud as she could. Hisana rushed out of the cave and held back Rukia, knowing well that Yukira was beyond salvation. "YUKI!" Yukira's body refused to respond, and disappeared as a surge drove him towards the sea and enclosed his entire body.

….......

"It's okay, Rukia," Yukira said to Rukia a few days later, seemingly unharmed save for the fact that he was transparent and a long chain extended from his chest to the bank of the river.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...." Rukia whispered to Yukira's soul. "It's all my fault you died, Yukira. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, kinda, Rukia," Yukira said sadly. "And hey, that's the first time you called me by my real name!"

"Why can't nee-san see you?" Rukia replied, still whispering.

"I don't know, Rukia," he said, silently patting Rukia's black hair, which matched his own. "But you should find some friends instead of hanging around with me. I'm dead anyway."

"NO! I can't-"

"Pinky swear."

"Fine," Rukia said unhappily, crossing pinkies with the soul's transparent finger.

"Now, go back inside to eat with Hisana," Yukira smirked slightly. The younger girl trudged into the cave angrily. As her back grew smaller and smaller, Yukira's smirk faded and was replaced by an emotionless expression, and slowly, he turned around to face the still clear water and pulled at his chain.

One year later...

Yukira found himself staring at the river. The link that connected his chest to the chain seemed to peel off, revealing an empty hole where his heart should be. He grinned when he remembered the time Rukia saw the hole. She had gawked at it and nearly screamed before Yuki told her that it was nothing. He hoped that his soul wouldn't disappear anytime soon so that he could continue to look after Rukia and Hisana for, at least, a couple more years. Several souls wearing black kimonos and carrying katanas had tried to persuade him to pass on, but he bluntly refused to do so. He was so busy musing that he hadn't sensed Rukia behind him.

"Good morning!" four-year-old Rukia shouted, causing Yuki to suddenly jolt.

"Ah, good morning! You almost scared me just now. How's playing with the village children?"

"They're too immature for me to explain things to them," Rukia took a seat next to Yukira, taking care not to drop her onigiri into the river. "Except this one guy, Toho. He kept asking me why I was talking to myself on the bank. He asked me if I was talking to fish, then he laughed and tried to make fun of me. My friends stepped in and yelled at him for being rude, and he ran away."

"Wow," Yukira said. "That's when friends are useful to you."

"They're not useful as tools, Yukira. They're friends, not wood planks."

"Those who aren't useful are trash," Yukira said bluntly. He was shocked that came from his mouth.

"What?" Rukia seemed shocked and angry at the same time. " That's it! I'm not talking to you anymore." She walked toward the cave quickly, taking her onigiri with her.

"Wait-" Yukira was prevented from chasing her when his chain suddenly shortened, causing another rip in his chest. This time, it was actually painful. Yukira doubled over, clutching his chest. The pain was over within seconds. He got back up and began to think about how he should apologize, thinking so hard that he didn't notice Toho, the little village boy, who had watched the whole scene despite being unable to see Yukira, rushing back to the village to tell his parents.

That night, Yukira was still thinking. He thought of yelling for her then apologizing repeatedly, but that seemed to lower his pride. Suddenly, he heard loud footsteps, and when he turned around, he was greeted by a mob of villagers, all carrying weapons and torches, approaching the cave where Hisana and Rukia lived for the last couple of years with Yukira. The crowd was chanting "Witch. Witch. Witch. Witch." as they marched.

"Come out, Rukia and Hisana, you witches!" the leader shouted. Hisana emerged from the cave, holding Rukia's hand.

"What do all of you want?" Hisana said in a manner that did not match her usually benevolent self.

"A year ago, you witches poisoned our fish, destroyed our trade, and killed a young boy! You should be eradicated for your crimes."

"We did no such things. We are sad and still mourn for Yukira, but we didn't poison any fish!" Hisana cried.

"Lies! My boy saw your little sister talking to the fish. You're telling them to leave, aren't you? We are here to get rid of you horrible pests," the leader said, pointing his harpoon at Rukia. The other villagers murmured in agreement and raised their rakes, spears, and kitchen knives.

"Wait, this is a mistake-" Hisana suddenly stopped when the leader used his harpoon to swipe Hisana at the shoulder, spilling her blood everywhere.

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Rukia screamed and tried to land a punch on the leader, but was met by a spear that went through her leg. She fell to the ground, cursing in pain.  
That was when all hell broke loose. Yukira desperately tried to reach Rukia and Hisana, but his chain retaliated by ripping out his chest,leaving only a fifth of the original patch still stuck on Yukira. Yukira helplessly watched as the fighting continued, while repeatedly thinking _I need more power. Let me reach them. Please let me reach them. Let me help them. LET ME SAVE THEM!_

The crowd withdrew after a while. Yukira scrambled to look at Hisana and Rukia, praying for the first time in his life while he was alive that Hisana and Rukia were fine. To his horror, he saw Rukia and Hisana's bodies on the ground, bloodied and lifeless, a halo of light surrounding them for a moment before it disappeared, signifying that they have rested in peace without much trouble.

"NOOOOOO!" Yukira screamed as tears froze as they descended down his face. The final fifth of the patch tore as Yukira tried to run to the bodies with his pupils dilated, and enveloped the boy in a explosion.

…...

"We are saved, everyone!" the leader of the mob said happily to the villagers. "The witches are defeated and the village is saved. Tomorrow troves of fish will bring our village out of poverty and-" A large explosion suddenly occurred on the bank of the nearby river, showering the villagers with dirt and debris.

"What was that?" a villager shouted. Any other comments were drowned out when an earsplitting roar tore through the night sky. Screams broke out as the villagers tried to find a foe, but faced to see their neighbor suddenly dropping to the ground, apparently dead. The villagers couldn't see a monstrous beast, with a dark green coat covered with white bone and two ox-like horns sprouting from its head. A pair of livid green eyes peered from a mask as it ate the souls of the villagers.

"All...of..you must...DIE!" it said in a warped voice. Two black lines that looked like tear trails appeared on the mask. Standing on its hind legs, it incinerated the village with a black and green blast that erupted from one of its claws...

…....

"Wake up," a voice commanded. The vasta lorde sat up from the cold ground, inspecting his fingers, which had grown pale and narrow. Only the top half portion from his mask remained, he had found, touching lightly at the ox-like horn. He seemed to have no expressions, while two green tear trails appeared on his face, which was as pale as a sheet. On his chest was a tattoo that read "4" and a hole that was located at where the heart should be. Next to him was a set of clothes, which he quickly put on as if he was born knowing how to wear them, at the same time picking up a light green sword. He stood up and bowed to the auburn-haired soul reaper who gave him this form.

" You are now an arrancar, part of my army. You have been privileged to obtain the position of "Quatro Espada" and shall now receive the name "Ulquiorra Schiffer". Do you accept this position, arrancar?" Aizen said as he held his sword above the arrancar's shoulder, similar to how medieval kings named knights.

"Yes, Aizen-sama." His black hair masked his expression as he bowed, but his face remained stoic, as if it was set in stone.

"Then from now on, arrancar, you shall be known as Ulquiorra Schiffer, the Quatro Espada."

…......................................................................................................................................................

A/N: Here is the terminology list:

Yukira: Don't know where it came from, maybe from Akira, my original name for the boy and deprivation from "Ulquiorra"

Katana: Japanese-style sword with a curve

Kimono: Traditional Japanese robes, served as clothing

Quatro: Spanish for "four"

For those who haven't caught on yet, or if I haven't made it clear enough, Yukira died, became a hollow, and evolved into an arrancar named Ulquiorra Schiffer. Rukia died with Hisana and went to the Soul Society, where their memories are erased and the plot then follows Tite Kubo's story, Bleach. I suppose this is a bit on the ulquiorraxrukia side, but on a former friend/childhood friend relationship. I honestly don't know if this will evolve into a romance piece. Please rate and review. Flames and constructive criticism are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I'm too poor and unimaginative. Possible OOCness and lots of fabricated event.

Chapter 2

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It has been six months since the winter war. Casualties were heavy for both hollows and shinigami, but in the end, because of Hitsugaya-taichou's victory over Aizen, the shinigami won and either killed the surviving hollows, or negotiated a treaty. Over a quarter of the Gotei 13 was killed, not counting the numerous unseated shinigami. Ukitake-taichou, Omaeda-fukutaicho, Kurotsuchi-fukutaichou, Ikakku Madarame, Sasakibe-fukutaicho, and Hinamori-fukutaicho were listed as part of the casualties, and the air of the soul society remains grievous and heavy. Hitsugaya Toshiro was appointed new soutaicho due to his efforts in the winter war and the adamant fact that Yamamoto-genryuusai was getting older and is in need of rest. Rukia was promoted to vice captain of Squad 13, under newly appointed captain from the Shinigami Academy who mastered her bankai in the academy, Retsuko Kagamine. Rukia trained under Hitsugaya-soutaicho's supervision in an effort to help her earn her bankai. Byakuya-taicho was angry with Hitsugaya for this decision, but was later persuaded to allow Rukia to train by Renji. The three traitors were killed at the spot.

As for the arrancar, most of the Espada were killed in action. Nel Tu was brought back to the Soul Society due to her support in the winter war and a pleading request from Ichigo. Deaths were confirmed for all Espada numbered 1-150. However, the death of Ulquiorra Schiffer, the fourth Espada, was not confirmed. While search parties were following his reiatsu, it suddenly disappeared in the path to the human world from Hueco Mundo. After four months of searching, the party gave up and reported that Schiffer was dead.

A week after news of Ulquiorra's death...

"What?" Ichigo Kurosaki shouted in a middle of a meeting, which included him because he was a participant of the winter war. "What if that bastard is loose in my world? He's a killer! We have to find him, Toshiro!"

"For the last time, Kurosaki, it's Hitsugaya-soutaicho," Hitsugaya said with an eyebrow twitching. "I'll dispatch Rukia and yourself to the human world, if it satisfies you. Renji, you'll stay here," he barked as the red haired man tried to get out and prepare for a trip with Ichigo and Rukia. "Rukia-fukutaicho, you are released for two months to search for Ulquiorra Schiffer in the material world. This is a mission. Details shall be sent to you once you have reached your destination. Do you accept?"

"Yes, Hitsugaya-soutaicho!" Rukia said while trying to elbow Ichigo in the stomach for bothering the already stressed head captain. "I shall return in two months time."

One and ¾ a month later...

"Damn it, Ichigo, your spiritual energy detection already sucks, and you have to drag me out here when I need to do paperwork!" Rukia said while staring at her cell phone, searching for any signs of Ulquiorra's spiritual pressure.

"Shut up, midget," Ichigo replied while drinking his juice. "If we don't find him, he might hurt the people here."

"But that hasn't happened ye-" Rukia accidentally bumped into a tall, pale teenager. "Sorry!" she said, turning around and bowing. The teenager continued to walk away when Rukia's eyes suddenly widened. She popped the soul candy in her mouth, drew Sode no Shirayuki as her soul exited her body, and held the sword just under the teenager's throat.

"Rukia, what the hell?" Ichigo said angrily as he, too, exited his own body and attempted to pull the tiny shinigami away. Rukia did not budge.

"Let go, Ichigo," Rukia said in a stony voice and directed her attention to the teenager. "Why are you in a gigai. Ulquiorra Schiffer?"

"How to did you manage to identify me, Rukia Kuchiki, when you have been evaluated as trash?" the teenager said in a toneless voice, at the same time revealing pale skin, a thin line of a mouth, and emotionless dark green eyes.

"Let's just say your reiatsu stank of hollows and felt somewhat...nostalgic."

"What makes you think I won't stab you now and flee?" the arrancar asked, his tone remainig empty.

"You're in a gigai, a humanoid body that resembles a race you classify as "trash", and your spiritual pressure is barely higher than that of a human," Rukia said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world.

"You'll take me to the Soul Society?"

"Unless you are deemed harmless, I will have no choice but to kill you."

"I see," the fourth Espada turned to Ichigo. "I see you're alive as well, Ichigo Kurosaki."

"You bastard. Everything you did in the winter war was unforgivable."

"Shall you be going, then, with me at your sword tip?" Ulquiorra turned to Rukia, seeming to ignore Ichigo.

"Answer my questions first: How did you get a gigai and how did you escape?" Rukia still refused to remove her blade from his neck.

"Unless you make me sign a contract that allows you to extract every bit of information from me, I won't talk. You'll need the Soul Society's permission for that. And this is the first time I've ever met you, Rukia Kuchiki. How would I know whether to trust you?"

"Bitch," Rukia swore. "Ichigo,, hold him while I contact the Soul Society." She sheathed her sword as soon as Ichigo pulled the Espada's arms back and flipped on her phone.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two beings as Rukia explained her situation to the Soul Society.

"We'll take him back immediately. Kon, take my gigai and Ichigo's body back to his house. Ichigo, let's go." The trio, unnoticed by nearby passerby as simply a teenager walking stiffly down a street, met a shinigami at the local park, who opened the portal to the Soul Society, and brought the fourth Espada straight into Seireitei.

…............................................................................................................................................

A/N: Shinigami: Soul Reaper

Sode no Shirayuki: Rukia's zanpakuto

Seireitei: Court of Pure Souls

I am sincerely sorry if you spot some grammatical errors in this story, as well as any one of my stories. The OC's in this fanfic will be explained in the next chapter, as soon as I have brainstormed their bios. You are welcome as always to hate me, threaten me, and fillet me if you hate what I type. Constructive criticism and flames are welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, since I'm poor and lack talent. OOCness and fabrication. You are also welcome to hate me if you hate this story.

Chapter 3

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_So this is where I will be kept. _Ulquiorra scanned his surroundings as he felt the cold, red collar, just made for him by the 12th division of the Thirteen Guard Divisions . His prison was a semi-circular white room with a window close to the ceiling. The window showed a glimpse of a pure, blue sky, but its size caused the room to be dim. Solid metal bars laced with spiritual energy and kido barriers blocked him from the "lobby" of the jail room. The room was, for the most part, empty, save for the single tatami mat that allowed him to rest, and two wooden chairs. One that rested in the corner of the cell, and the other faced the distant window. On the mat was plain white kimono, with a matching obi. There was also a note on top of the provided clothes. Ulquiorra knelt down and picked it up for closer inspection.

The note was written clearly and was rather straightfoward. "Wear these instead of human clothes. That is an order." The former espada noticed a small smudge-like shape on the corner of the paper. He held it close to his face and looked at it closely.

"It's a rabbit," he said to himself quietly. Something seemed to hit him in the head. Hard. Ulquiorra clutched his head, in the process doubling over.

_"What the heck is that?" a boy in a tattered kimono with a chain that extended from his chest glanced over at a dirt drawing a small black-haired girl had made with a stick._

_"It's a rabbit! And it's not as if you can do any better!" the girl said defensively, meeting the boy's eyes, showing a flushed face and violet eyes. The boy seemed to prevent himself from laughing for a few minutes, then managed to calm down. The drawing looked like a demented rat with long eyelashes and ears._

The arrancar pushed away the urge to scream and tried to wipe away the images. Still clutching his head, he flipped over the note. The pain slowly subsided and the images seemed to slowly disappear. Nevertheless, Ulquiorra knelt down, panting hard, and continued to clutch his head, his pupils rapidly shrinking due to the ordeal.

_Calm down, Schiffer. You must not show a single sign of weakness in your mind while in this place. _He banished the remaining images,but he still was panting. Regaining his breath, he removed his human clothing and proceeded to put on the kimono. His hollow hole seemed to be shrinking, and his tattoo was almost half gone. Once he was dressed, he walked toward the chair facing the window and sat there silently, staring at the barred window as the afternoon changed to twilight. "So this is how the woman lived while in prison," he muttered.

…..........................................................................................................

"Kuchiki-fukutaicho," Hitsugaya nodded in her direction, "please give your report to captains of the thirteen squad."

"Ulquiorra Schiffer, the arrancar who participated in Aizen's rebellion on the Soul Society, was found yesterday by Ichigo Kurosaki and myself after a long search. He was in a gigai and with humans, which is practically impossible because hollows do not require gigai and can enter the human world in their normal forms due to their high spiritual power that can defeat any unseated officer easily. However, something didn't fit right. He was in a gigai, a custom-made material body, and his spiritual level was only slightly above that of an average human. We caught him easily, but he did not even bother to fight us."

"Thank you, Rukia," Hitsugaya said. "Does anyone have a suggestion to what we should do?"

"Soutaicho," Kagamine raised her hand. "I have a proposal."

"Speak."

"I suggest that Ulquiorra Schiffer should be properly examined for his stability. The reason to how he managed to obtain a gigai should also be investigated."

"Why can't we just dissect him to answer all of the questions?" Mayuri said. "And why take the time to find a proper psychiatrist who won't crack in pressure due to the arrancar's silence?"

"We already have a proper psychiatrist," Kagamine replied as if the answer was obvious and turned to Rukia. "Rukia, are you willing to take this position?"

"W-w-w-what?" Rukia stuttered. Of all the worthy and better people out there, why her?

"Soutaicho, I don't mean to threaten you, but you can't deny the fact that Rukia's an excellent psychiatrist. You yourself consulted her shortly after the winter war."

Hitsugaya rubbed his forehead. "You don't have to remind, Kagamine-taicho. Rukia Kuchiki. Do you wish to accept the position of the arrancar's psychiatrist?"

"Yes, sir," Rukia managed to reply without stuttering.

"Do the rest of you captains accept this proposal?"The majority said yes. "Then it is settled. Starting tomorrow afternoon, Kuchiki-fukutaicho, you are to monitor Ulquiorra's thought process and why he is able to obtain a gigai. The task rests on your shoulders, so do you accept?"

"Yes,sir!" Rukia shouted.

…...................................................................................................................

A/N: I am deeply sorry for the long update. I was playing Megaten all week. So here's Kagamine's bio. Please correct any misuse of Japanese vocabulary.

Name: Retsuko Kagamine

Gender: Female

Species: Soul Reaper

Date of Birth: November 15

Height: 125 cm

Weight: 26 kg

Lieutenant: Rukia Kuchiki

Affiliation: Soul Society

Occupation: Soul Reaper captain of the 13th Division

Zanpakuto:

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Release: Hum (Teigin)

Shikai: Tamamushi- A mass of rapidly spinning hexagons that make a humming sound, similar to an insect's buzzing

Bankai: Yakou: The disks amass to create a spherical shield

Juuman no Hasaki: The disks form a giant light green dragonfly that minces anything it touches. Kagamine obtains a near translucent sword and sits between the dragonfly's two wing sets. The sword is at least equal to her height and requires two hands to wield it.

Yashuu: Kagamine grows dragonfly wings and wields a 5 meter long whip that crystallizes anything it touches. This is used only in "fury mode" and lasts for only 10 minutes.

If you hate her, go ahead, and if you think she or this plot needs improvement, please review. Constructive criticism and flames are always welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Tite Kubo did an awesome job on it already. Pardon the Gintama references.

OMAKE.....

The next morning, Kagamine walked into the soutaicho's office, carrying a neat stack of paperwork that towered to about two-thirds her total height. Muttering about lack of coffee in the morning, she glanced at Hitsugaya, who was looking through his own paperwork while drinking tea. With a small heave, Kagamine set her paperwork on a nearby table and asked, "How long have you been drinking tea, Toshi?"

Hitsugaya gagged at the nickname and almost sprayed the tea in his mouth all over the paperwork on his desk. Attempting to regain his composure, he asked, "Why give me such a nickname and why the question?"

Kagamine seemed to think for a moment before answering. "It may help me understand why you're so short, and despite the fact that you're in your growth spurt, you've only gained enough height to barely match Rukia's height. She hasn't grown much either, you know."

"I would like to ask you the same, and why aren't you back in your squad yet?" Hitsugaya can feel his left eye begin to twitch.

"I drink coffee, a beverage from the human world that Renji brought back, and it's loaded with height inhibitors known as "caffeine". Besides, I'm done with the work for both Rukia and myself that will hold for about a month," the new record holder for shortest captain grabbed a chair and sat down.

Hitsugaya stared at the little girl, willing her in his head to go back to her squad. She, however, continued talking. "I'm also obliged to help Rukia-chan elevate her work stress in my free time. Since there is no one to train with, I've chosen to talk to you in place of Rukia's psychiatric sessions with you. The reason why I want to call you Toshi is because Toshiro Hitsugaya and Toshiro Hijikata act the same and sound similar."

"Who are you comparing me to?"

"You don't watch anime, Toshi? Then I'll have to change it to "Oogushi-kun. Do you have a pet goldfish?"

"Stop speaking in riddles," Hitsugaya said in a tone tinted with annoyance. Kagamine decided to switch to a different topic that will hopefully stop the annoying "Twitching Eyebrow" feat.

"Do you like Rukia-chan?" she met the head captain's eyes squarely, taking note that his face was slowly turning red.

"What?" Hitsugaya chose to avert his eyes and focus on his paperwork. Kagamine inched to his desk and flashed a wicked grin.

"Oh, ho ho, bulls-eye, wasn't it? You're slightly miffed by my suggestion that Rukia should talk to Ulquiorra, aren't you?" At this point, one may suspect whether or not Matsumoto and Kagamine were related.

Hitsugaya cleared his throat and said, "Don't you have squad members to take care of?"

"Yes, and seeing that we've been talking from 9:00 AM to 9:30 AM, we should continue this talk session tomorrow." Kagamine headed to the door and waved a good bye as she shunpoed back to the thirteenth division's headquarters. Hitsugaya rubbed his temples and sighed. He has as feeling that he should wake up at 10:00 AM tomorrow instead of his usual 8:00.

…..................................................................................................................

Chapter 4

Silence edged on in the semicircular jail cell. Two figures sat in solitude, one somewhat comfortable in the silence, while the shorter one clenched her clipboard before finally breaking the ice. "Ulquiorra Schiffer, I'm here to conduct an investigation on the behalf of Seireitei. I would also request that you answer my question without much resistance and as thoroughly as possible." Ulquiorra nodded, still keeping his silence. "Question one: How did you obtain a gigai?"

"After I had come to the human world, I wandered around for a while to find a way to survive. After a month or two, I encountered Urahara. He initially seemed surprised and started to attack me. Then, he realized that I can barely fight, probably because of my low reiatsu. Telling his three assistants to capture me, he took me to his shop and gave me the choice to either live in a gigai or die at the spot. I chose the first option," Ulquiorra said in monotone, but he felt like he was actually eager to pour out all of his memories of the past months. Rukia quickly noted down his words and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"Urahara then handed me a chain, instructing me to wrap it around my left arm. It burned at soon at it met my skin, and soon afterwards, I blacked out. The next thing I knew, I was in a permanent gigai and I couldn't escape from the gigai. The chain left a tattoo-like mark. Urahara gave me some clothes and told me I'm free to leave. So I wandered around Karakura Town until you and Kurosaki found me," Ulquiorra continued. "I've been trying to regain some reiatsu ever since, but it would probably take me 400 years to be released from this form, if I don't force myself." He looked at Rukia with expressionless eyes. "The shinigami will kill me before then, would they not?'

"I can't evaluate whether or not you should be executed, but judging by your current reiatsu and your testimony, I am confident that you are indeed unable to release your true form for a long period of time," Rukia deadpanned while staring at her clipboard. "Do you require anything?"

"Yes," Ulquiorra said as he shifted his chair to face the window again. "Please refrain from drawing unidentifiable creatures on any notes that may be sent to this cell from now on. They distract me from the original message as I spend too much time wondering what they are."

A vein in Rukia's forehead popped. "Was that supposed to be offensive?"

Ulquiorra contemplated on his answer and decided that telling the truth would not do any harm.

"Yes."

Rukia threw a fruit bowl at him before leaving the prison angrily.

….............................................................................................................................................................

A/N: I decided to continue this story anyway in an attempt to get rid of my stupid defeatist attitude. This chapter isn't the best because half of it is an omake and the other half is Ulquiorra's monotone. That is why any attempt to get rid of me is welcome, for my existence has wasted your time. Flames and constructive criticism welcome for those who bother to respond.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the Gintama references. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!! I found myself pondering as to how I should edge around the events in the actual plot while playing Perfect World. Then again, the only reason why this update took so long is because I'm lazy and pathetic.

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OMAKE (again)

NEXT DAY-9:00 AM

Kagamine marched into the head captain's headquarters only to see the head captain himself, Hitsugaya Toshiro, sleeping on his paperwork with a thin trail of drool streaming from the corner of his mouth. _So he can be a kid sometimes, too, huh. Well, time to play Sougo and make Oogushi-kun angry._ Kagamine drew her zanpakuto and punched the hilt into the head captain's face, and for some reason caused a deep crater to form on the desk.

Hitsugaya woke up with a jolt, and, while spitting out splinters from his mouth, tried to curse at the midget who shoved the hilt of her zanpakuto into his cheek, but was interrupted when Kagamine asked in a deadpan voice, "You awake, Oogushi-kun?"

"WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T BE AWAKE AFTER HAVING THEIR FACE PUNCHED INTO A DESK?! One day, I will execute you for insolence!" Hitsugaya screamed loud enough to make the entire spirit population in Seireitei hear him.

"Good reaction," Kagamine said after removing her hands from around her ears. "Now both of us can enter Anime-con next month and not be shown as the worst cosplayers there! All we need need to do is to dye your hair black and give you a Shinsengumi uniform and we're set to go. You'll cosplay Hijikata, and I'll cosplay Sougo. Rukia can be Mitsuba, and- no, you'll be better off as Gintoki."

"Stop speaking in such nonsensical words," Hitsugaya rubbed the transferred ink from his face and calmly drank his tea. "Why are you here again, Kagamine-taicho?"

"I thought of how to make Rukia at least a little more aware that you like her but not in the captain-subordinate way, and I've come up with a plan," Kagamine said as she grabbed an outrageously large lolipop and stuffed into her mouth.

"I don't like her in any way save in possible friendship or in a captain-subordinate relationship, Kagamine-taicho," Hitsugaya tried to pry his eyes from staring at Kagamine tried to pull the lolipop from her mouth.

"So, straying from the topic of Rukia-chan, am I a friend or a subordinate, Hijikata-san? Or am I just your psychologist?" Kagamine asked casually as she threw away her half-finished lolipop into the trashcan. "A truthful answer, please."

"You're all three, actually, despite the fact that you are an absolutely horrible psychologist and that you're as annoying as fangirl hordes. You're being identified as a friend to me, despite how a while ago you slammed my head into my desk."

"Am I really? Then I'll be your bodyguard and smack fangirls in your place. And you're really better as Hijikata. Now, staying back on the real topic, what's troubling you, my dear fellow midget, oh great soutaicho-sama?"

"Nothing, unless paperwork counts as a trouble," Hitsugaya grumbled at the reports from the Fourth Division about injuries and new shinigami.

"Give me half of it, chibi-sama, and I'll help you finish them."

"No. Stop being kind and go back to your squad."

"No yourself. As your friend and midget-buddy, I have to help you. After all, you called me a friend just a minute ago. Now give me half of that stack."

Hitsugaya sighed in resignation. "Fine," he said, "if that's what you want." Kagamine grabbed her stack and walked out of the door. "Workaholic."

…..............................................................................................................................

THE ACTUAL STORY....

Rukia slowly walked into the cell and took a seat before the cell's prisoner. Ulquiorra, not so much as startled by her appearance, took a seat on his own chair silently.

After a few minutes of silence, Rukia cleared her throat and said, "I am deeply sorry for my rudeness yesterday. My actions and behavior were irrational and do not demonstrate proper control of my temper. I hope you can forgive me for my brash actions."

Ulquiorra stared at her as the small figure bowed while seated and replied in deadpan, " I forgive you, but are you that sensitive to any negative critique about your drawings?"

"Yes, therefore, if you ever see a sign of Chappy or her friends, do not so much as criticize them."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes," Rukia said without emotion.

"I see."

A long silence passed before Rukia cleared her throat yet again. "The Soul Society has decided that you are not a threat as long as your remaining reishi is suppressed. The collar around your neck and the possibility that the remains of your original hollow self and Urahara's special gigai melded together already has completed that issue. However, I still require some information from you, concerning the finale of the battle between you and Kurosaki and how, despite the testimonies of Ichigo, Inoue, and Ishida that you dissolved like ash, you manage to be able to escape into the human world."

"That, I cannot answer," Ulquiorra replied tonelessly.

"Are you refusing to answer or are you unable to answer?"

"I cannot answer your question because even I myself have no knowledge as to why I'm still existing when I was dying. I have no recollection of my journey to the human world, only that I was asked by Urahara Kisuke whether or not I needed a gigai."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"Your drawings of Chappy repeatedly give me a headache, so I request that you refrain from drawing them on my napkins while you listen to me-"

"So nothing else," Rukia interrupted Ulquiorra. "Good day then. I will send the guards food for you to look at since, given your current state, you can't eat anyway." Rukia rose from her chair and marched out of the prison.

Once she met the door of the First Division, she thought to herself. _Headaches?_

…_................................................................................................................_

A/N: I apologize to anyone out there who waited for me to finish this chapter. It's rather building up to a more important event, but the majority of this chapter was the omake. And curse my dense head, I just realized something: Kagamine is like a freakin' Sue! To anyone who agrees, flame me or criticize me. Harsh critique is always welcome!


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